Don’t allow the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing keep you from reaching out in love. There are no perfect words. A simple "I’m sorry" and a hug can go a long way.
Do not think that talking about him/her will bring the birthing parent and partner more pain. The memory of her baby is always on her mind. She may need to tell her story over and over again. Do not be afraid to say the baby's name.
Some things you might consider saying:
Those who are grieving are not always able to ask for help. Instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," just do something for the mother and her family.
Some things you might consider asking:
You might try to:
Don’t expect them to be exactly the same. And please realize that grief has its own time table. Allow them the time they needs, and remain supportive. Everyone grieves differently. Don’t judge their choices or their "performance." They may not react the same way that you think you would.
We offer a beautiful, custom designed Signature Acorn Necklace as a remembrance gift.
There are many other ideas available on Burden Bearing Baskets and Etsy (search baby memorial, baby loss, bereaved mother/father/parent).
Remember baby’s due date and baby’s memorial.
When you see a purple butterfly on a neonatal cot or incubator, it represents a baby that was part of a multiple pregnancy, but sadly, did not survive.
Avoid clichés such as:
"The healing power of even the most microscopic exchange with someone who knows in a flash precisely what you're talking about, because she experienced that thing too, cannot be overestimated."
– Cheryl Strayed